I am fifty-five years old.
There, I’ve said it.
Fifty-five to stay alive
I am finding my fifties to be an interesting time of
transition.
I am no longer young.
I don’t feel that I am old.
I am in the middle – middle age, Middle Earth, stuck in the
middle with you, Malcolm in the Middle
I know people in my age group who are trying very hard to
stay young – dress young, act young, appear young, talk young, get surgery, get
tattoos, get twitter accounts and try to keep up with technology. It’s not
working. Be your age; act your age; be who you are and not who you aren’t.
I also know people in my age group who are trying very hard
to be old – dress old, act old, appear old, talk old, settling in to lethargy
and retirement. They let their devices blink 12:00. They begin most sentences
with “In my day,” or “When I was young.” They are either ultra-conservative or
ultra-liberal. They think that everyone who doesn’t agree with them on every
issue is either stupid or trying to destroy our world. Be your age. You are not
dead yet. Be open to listen to other people with different ideas.
This transition period of my life has probably been
intensified because we recently moved to a small community and things have
slowed down. We had been living in Phoenix and I had been an associate pastor a
large, multi-site church (around 5000 attendees). We now live in a Northern
California town of about 5000 and I pastor a small church with under 100
attendees.
It is definitely a time of transition.
We love this community and this church. We love our home and
our view of the lake. We love this time of our lives. We love our kids and our
grandkids, although we don’t see them as much as we would like. We don’t love
that our bodies are getting older and that they don’t bounce back as quickly.
I don’t want to try to act younger than I am. I don’t want
to try to build a shallow enthusiasm and make a lot of noise that builds to a
lot of action that reaps no significant changes in people’s lives. I don’t want
to try to dress young, act young and talk young. I want to act my age and
minister people of different ages.
I don’t want to try to act older than I am. I don’t want to
just wait for retirement and escape from society and culture. I want to be
aware of my surroundings. I want to listen to different ideas. I want to
continue to live a life of significance.
The strength of youth is enthusiasm. The strength of age is
wisdom.
The weakness of youth can be living to please others.
The weakness of old age can be not giving a flip what others
think.
I want to maintain enthusiasm and walk in wisdom. I do not
want to live to please others, but I do want to continue to serve others and to
not isolate myself. I pray that I will find the correct balance at this time in
my life and walk in joy and peace in the midst of a different type of storm.
I remember when my Dad was teaching me how to drive and he
said something like, “Slow down as you are going into the curve and speed up as
you are coming out of the curve.” This time of transition in my life is a
curve. I am trying to slow down, look around, listen, be aware of my
surroundings and to go through the turn. I am praying to see through the turn,
receive new vision, reorient to the other side of the curve and live wisely
before I begin to speed up.
The bear went up the hill to see what was on the other side
and he saw another hill. I don’t want to go back and I don’t want to settle on
the top of the hill. I want to go wisely and at the right speed. There is still
much to do, much to see, many to meet and growth to be experienced.
